Feeling like a mom

Being pregnant for 9 months didn't really make me feel like a mom. It doesn't even seen real that there is a human inside of you until you have them. Once I had Kemry things still didn't sink in. Between the shock and lack of sleep it was still hard to believe this was my little girl. It felt like we were just going through the motions to get through the night.
When Kemry was at 20 weeks we found out she was a girl and that she had club foot. We saw a specialist a few weeks later that through another ultra sound confirmed that she had club foot. They couldn't do anything about it until she was born, but we were recommended to a doctor at primary children's that sees this everyday. We really could go to a doctor that is closer, but we decided it was better to take her to a specialist than a doctor who might not have as much experience with club foot. Part of me was hoping that when she was born her foot would be fine that it would have healed itself and that the doctors would have been wrong. This was not the case, but you can always hope.
We took her in on Monday for her first appointment. We meet with the doctor and he confirmed that she had club foot and then he put the cast on. An assistant came into the room to hold her foot into place while the doctor wrapped the cast.  You could tell this was painful for Kemry as she was crying and trying to kick her leg away. Her crying made me cry. I was hoping that we were doing the right thing. I new that it was the right thing because I want her to be able to walk and have a normal life. And while she is little is definitely the time to fix it, but these things didn't make me feel any better as I watched my little girl scream on the doctors table. As I cried more this is when it really hit me and I felt like a mom. I know getting a cast was the best decision, but I hated watching my little girl be in pain. I just wanted to tell the doctor no and that we changed our minds. After her cast I just wanted to hold her. It is hard to watch her moving her left leg normally and then watching her try to move her right leg that she can hardly lift with the cast.
Now I'm feeling more like a mom. I can tell that she is a lot more fussy with the cast that feeding and burping doesn't solve.
We will go back to primary's once a week for the next 6 weeks and get a new cast each week. Then she will have a little surgery to cut her Achilles tendon so she will be able to bend her foot up and down. Then she will be in a brace that she will wear until she is 4. Gradually wearing it less and less. We are not super excited for the long trips ahead but I want to make sure that she gets the best.
So traveling with a new born was also an adventure. The ride down was definitely better than the ride back home because she then had the cast that hurt on the way back. Here is one story of our adventure driving.
After crying through her whole doctors appointment I wasn't really in the mood to just drive back home so we stopped at some by to say hi to some family. We ended up heading back to Idaho when it was late and it was dark on the drive especially since we just had daylight savings. Half way into the drive kemry was so fussy. We stopped to feed her and that didn't help I checked and her diaper was dirty. Tim wanted to wait until we got home to change it but we had recently had some blow outs and I didn't want this to happen in the car seat since the diaper was really full. So I decided to change her. It might have been from a lack of sleep but I didn't think to pull our the mat that we have to change her on. (I don't know if that would have helped anyway since we didn't have lots of room in the back of the car.) At first somehow I had her sideways on my lap so I could hold her and Tim could help with the diaper. That didn't work to well so I our her on my lap with her head by my knees. Somehow within the whole process she ended up having to go pee. Of course with how we were sitting it ended up going all over me, right into my crotch, making me feel like I peed my pants. It also was not just a little drip, she went a lot. At this point Tim and I are both laughing so hard. The worst part was that we still had over an hour left on the drive home. O the adventures of being a mom. This made Monday the day I felt like someone said welcome to motherhood. I have included pictures so I can remember these events in our lives. Kemry also is learning how to project as she spits up. She is really making us feel like parents now.